Fork in the Road

(Logic Problem)

You stand at a fork in the road. One road leads to Heaven while the other leads to Hell. There is a man standing at the fork, but he will only answer one question. Furthermore, the man is known to have a twin brother. One of the brothers always tells the truth, but the other twin always lies. What question will you ask to decide which road to follow?

Hint: Use the word brother in your question.
Answer: Ask, "Which road would your brother say leads to heaven?" and then follow the other path.

The Letter of the Law

(Word Play)

A gentleman endowed with an unusually long proboscis entered Thelma's market and proceeded to sniff her passion fruit and then began to rub it with his epidermis. Thelma was flattered by the man's interest in her goods so she engaged him in some social intercourse over musk melons. An officer felt the public display of affection (PDA) was inappropriate. The poor gentleman said he just wanted to find something juicy to suck on, but there was no way to avoid the penal code.

The Little Black Book

(Thoughtful Messages by Gregg Hoops on Face Book and MySpace)

Have you had a little black book?

Now days it's most likely just a list in your cell phone of names and numbers of men or ladies in your life you can call to allow you to fulfill a need you are missing to surpass your urge, your frustration or loneliness.

When a person moves forward in one’s life we often have to leave things of our past behind allowing us total attention to what lies ahead of us instead of what we can run back too.

If you hold on to your little black book it will eventually become a crutch holding you back from life’s progression of complete and utter happiness.

Do you feel that if you are in a relationship with someone it is fair to hold on to your book?

Is it fair to the person you are with not to know that you have the opportunity within your reach to ruin everything you have worked for in this relationship?

Would you allow your partner to carry their black book around with them?

Is it fair to the people on your list to hold onto them so tightly that they cannot move forward in their lives knowing that the possibility is always there that you may still call them?

Trust is a factor in relationships that cannot be broken. If the trust is broken the relationship becomes tainted. Doubt remains the key that most often causes weakness in the seemingly strongest bond between a man and a woman.

If you want to be trusted unconditionally then you yourself need to learn how to trust unconditionally.

Friends of the opposite sex in most relationships are often confusing and more often cause jealousy.

Why would you want jealousy to be a factor in your relationship?

Love is blinded by many things, once the eyelids of love are opened wide many other factors come into to play, again leaving some couples confused and frustrated to its true meaning.

When Doubt surfaces we tend to seek outside advice concerning our relationships instead of facing your partner with the issue at hand.

Although outside help is not always a bad idea and can be very helpful, we tend to take opinions of others instead of what your relationships true needs are.

Talk to the one you love. Tell them your secrets and allow the trust to build a bond that nothing can break no matter what you are faced with.

Together your bond is strong and you as a couple are the only ones that can keep that bond from breaking.

Team work is always the key to success.

So next time you’re looking through your little black book ask yourself if it is really what you need in your life and how your other half would feel if they found out you still kept those names and numbers.

Be honest with yourself and most of all be honest with the one you say you love.

After all it's only the right thing to do, and if you cannot be honest with them then love them enough to let them go find someone that will be, because after all doesn't everyone deserve that chance?

Rope Around The World

(Amazing Math)

Suppose I take a red piece of rope and I put in on the ground to form a circle. Now, if I take a green rope that is about six feet longer than the first and place it on the ground it will form a circle about one foot wider.

It isn't hard to imagine that a small circle will grow by a foot, but the bizarre fact is that ANY circle will grow an entire foot wider for each additional six feet in length. This means that if a rope is tied around the Earth's Equator,  adding a jumping rope to it will cause the entire rope to lift an whole foot above the ground!

Proof.
The "trick" here is that the radius has a direct relationship to the circumference. The mathematical equation is c=2*pi*r. pi is 3.14, so we get c=6.28 * r. Increase a circle's circumference by 6.28 and its radius increases by 1.

The Blues Brothers Movie

(Movie Recommendation)

I hope listening to some of those rockin' songs on the Blues Brothers Soundtrack has got your fingers tappin' and your booty shakin'.

You've heard the awesome songs, now check out the awesome comedy Blues Brothers (1980) starring Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi. Jake and Elwood must overcome all kinds of obstacles to reunite their rock blues band and hold a huge concert to raise money to save a church. This comedy adventure has one of the best car chases of all time. Turn the movie on, crank up the volume, and sit back for a guaranteed great time. If you can't stand to let the fun end, you can also enjoy Blues Brothers 2000.

The Blues Brothers Soundtrack

Today we have a little music from:

The Blues Brothers Soundtrack

"She Caught the Katy" (Taj Mahal, Rachell) – 4:10

• The Blues Brothers with lead vocals by Jake Blues

"Peter Gunn Theme" (Mancini) – 3:46

• The Blues Brothers Band

"Gimme Some Lovin'" (S. Winwood, M. Winwood, Davis) – 3:06

• The Blues Brothers with Jake Blues, lead vocals

"Shake a Tail Feather" (Otis Hayes, Andre Williams, Verlie Rice) – 2:48

• Ray Charles with the Blues Brothers (Jake and Elwood, backing vocals)

"Everybody Needs Somebody to Love" (Wexler, Berns, Burke) – 3:21

• The Blues Brothers (Jake Blues, lead vocals; Elwood Blues, harmonica and vocals)

"The Old Landmark" (Brunner) – 2:56

• James Brown and the Rev. James Cleveland Choir (additional choir vocals by Chaka Khan credited in the film)

"Think" (White, Franklin) – 3:13

• Aretha Franklin and the Blues Brothers with backing vocals by Brenda Corbett, Margaret Branch and Carolyn Franklin (real-life sister of Aretha) and Jake and Elwood

"Theme from Rawhide" (Tiomkin) – 2:37

• Elwood and Jake and the Blues Brothers Band

"Minnie the Moocher" (Calloway, Mills) – 3:23

• Cab Calloway with the Blues Brothers Band

"Sweet Home Chicago" (Johnson) – 7:48

• Dedicated to the musician Magic Sam

"Jailhouse Rock" (Leiber, Stoller) – 3:19

• Jake Blues and the Blues Brothers (Over the closing credits in the film, verses are sung by James Brown, Cab Calloway, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin and "crew".)

Note that various songs will not play in some areas due to copyright laws.

Addicted to Sex

(by fatgirlfetish of A-musings)

I saw that the original blogger nominated this blog for worst blog ever. Larry Flynt on you bitches. First off, besides the fact I love laughing, I don’t know what has convinced me that I am suited to blog about adult topics. If there ever was a person who could make you hit the turn off button faster than you could say trickle down, it was me.  Lately though,  I’ve been thinking about it a lot, because I’ve been trying to get my act together and I’ve been talking to the same guy for a little while, so I’ve got it in my head that I really want to try and be faithful, but I’m just finding that moral character is ruining my sex life. Seriously.  I know they have hospitals and confessionals for people who enjoy coitus, but I can’t be bothered with it. The only people who think their genitals benefit from group therapy are people who don’t like fucking.  As nature would have it, they are outnumbered.  Thank God.  As time goes on, it’s become more apparent that sex has ceased to be an act of love to me (as if it ever was) and has evolved into a temporary quench for boredom. You know that feeling of lingering annoyance you experience when you go to the refrigerator, open it, notice there’s no food just to come back 5 minutes later and stare into the abyss as if food has magically appeared? That’s pretty much my sex life in less than 3 seconds.  I don’t mean to be disruptive about what I want.  Stop talking about your goals, and sit on my dick. We’re in Toledo Christie, there’s not a whole lot to do.  If you were truly talented, you would’ve found yourself an appointment doing secretarial work, but you’re not. That’s why I’m around.

Tran-What???

(Strange Words)


I'll admit, slight variations in words often confuse me. Being a boring, simple heterosexual male, I don't generally deal with much sexual deviation. It seems there are several words that all start with Trans that get me very confused. I'm going to look them up now and see if we can get everything straightened out once and for all!


Tranny- Transvestite or transsexual.


Transvestite- Generally a male who cross-dresses as a female and often takes on female behavior.


Transsexual- A person who is predisposed to identify with the opposite sex, sometimes so strongly as to undergo surgery and hormone injections to effect a change of sex.


Trans-gender- Trans gender is the state of one's "gender identity" (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both) not matching one's "assigned sex" (identification by others as male, female or intersex based on physical/genetic sex). "Transgender" does not imply any specific form of sexual orientation; transgender people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual; some may consider conventional sexual orientation labels inadequate or inapplicable to them.


Well, I hope that clears things up for y'all.

After Office Party

(Joke)

After the Office Party

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face." "He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him." "You did," came the reply. "And he fired you." "Well, screw him!" said John. "I did. You're back at work on Monday.

Penis and Vagina-- Tattoo

V: I got a new tattoo.
P: Where did you put it.
V: You know where.
P: No, not there?!
V: Yes, there!!
P: Ouch, that had to hurt.
V: You're telling me.
P: No one's tattooing me down there.
V: You're such a wimp.

Double Petunia

 (Word Play)


Here's a saying my father taught us kids. I'll just copy the following from Bob DeLong's Blog.

There's a saying / piece of prose / rhyme / poem / whatever - that my California and Nevada family knows by heart. Since I originally heard it from my Dad, and my Aunt Mary Lou knows it, I'm guessing that it is quite old, say the twenties or thirties (that's last century for you youngsters).

If you google the title of this post, you'll find that "Double Petunia" is actually a type of flower. Like a begonia. And thus we begin:

A petunia is a flower like a begonia
A begonia is a meat like a sausage
A sausage and battery is a crime
Monkeys crime trees
Trees a crowd
A rooster crowd and made a noise
A noise is part of your face like an eye
Eye is the opposite of nay
Horses nay, and horses have colts
And if you go to bed at night with a colt and leave the window open, you'll wake up in the morning with Double Petunia!

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

(Movie Recommendation)

The Monty Python team cranked out a lot of great, funny stuff in their day. I used to see Monty Python and the Flying Circus comedy sketches on TV.

Eventually, I heard about this crazy funny cult film named Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). The film is about King Arthur's quest to find the holy grail. The humor might be a bit wacky, but watch the movie a few times and it should grow on you. There's the Black Night who's determined not to let anyone pass-- even after all his limbs have been chopped off. Be warned that you might have men acting in some women's roles.

If you find you like Monty Python you'll definitely want to be checking out Life of Brian (1979) and The Meaning of Life (1983).

Michael Jackson: Thriller

I was wondering what the top selling album of all time is so I looked it up on the internet and the winner is... Michael Jackson's Thriller. That might not be a big surprise to you, but check this out. Over 100 million Thriller albums were sold while the next most popular album sold under 50 million copies-- less than half of Thriller!

Thriller


1. Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’
2. Baby Be Mine
3. The Girl Is Mine (Featuring Paul McCartney)
4. Thriller
5. Beat It (Single Version)
6. Billie Jean (Single Version)
7. Human Nature
8. P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
9. The Lady In My Life

You can click on the album title above to play the album on Youtube, but various songs may not play in some areas due to local copyright laws.

TV Commercial Hell

I remember the old days of broadcast television when television stations would broadcast their programs and everyone had antennas on their roofs to receive the signal. The TV stations broadcast the signal for free, but made their money by selling commercials.

One day I hear there is this great thing called cable TV. If you pay for cable you get a perfect signal and you get a bunch more channels to watch. Surely the additional cable channels wouldn't have commercials since the cable company is charging a nice monthly fee. Wrong! No such luck-- all the channels have commercials.

If it isn't bad enough paying for TV and still having commercials, now everyone seems to be coming up with lovely new innovative ways to add commercials right into shows. First, I started seeing these messages pop up covering the bottom portion of the screen advertising other shows the station wants you to watch. Annoying? Yes! Then some of the admittedly cheesy reality shows that I watch start wasting more programming time running voting polls to get people to spend money voting for absolutely asinine things. And then these same reality shows have now started featuring every commercial product under the sun right into their program by involving the products in the show in some way. It's gotten to the point where sometimes I feel like I'm just watching commercials and 'the show' is a 'no show'.

3-D Stereograms

Stereograms are pictures drawn on a flat surface that produce the illusion of a three dimensional image. It almost seems too amazing to be true , but let me tell you it is not only true but it is pretty spectacular when you see the 3-D image appear for the first time. I was introduced to my first stereogram at a party in the 1990s. Someone got this poster that was a bunch of dots and was told it was a 3D picture of dinosaurs. Needless to say many part-goers were incredulous including me, but I kept staring at the poster every now and again and.. then something actually seemed to be appearing.. no, I lost it.. then it came back into focus and eventually I could see the entire 3D image. Unbelievable, a bunch of dots create this amazing 3-D image that can be viewed with the naked eyes- no special lights or 3D glasses needed!

How it works. Well, I'll try to give you the basic concept real quick. Suppose you have two dots with one about an inch to the right of the other. If you manage to get your left eye to look at the left dot while your right eye looks at the right dot you will get the illusion of there being a single dot located somewhere behind where the actual dots are drawn. You can actually look cross-eyed with your left eye looking at the right dot and your right eye at the left dot. Looking cross-eyed will cause the image to appear if front of the surface. I could go on and on and on about stereograms but I'll refer you to this site called Stereogram Examples that has a few examples and some instructions to help you view them. Have fun and good luck!

The Perfect Day

(Joke)

The perfect day

The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses. 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale. 9:30 Light Breakfast. 11:00 Sunbathe. 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe. 1:45 Shopping. 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs. 3:00 Facial, massage, nap. 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing. 10:00 Make love. 11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms. The Perfect Day - Him 6:45 Alarm. 7:00 Shower and massage. 7:30 Blowjob. 7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12:30 Blowjob. 12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap. 6:15 Blowjob. 6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit. 7:30 Shit, shower, shave. 8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals). 9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero. 10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries. 11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep.

Fluffer

(Interesting Word)

Have you ever heard the term fluffer? If you have, I'd dare say you know your porn terms better than the average person.

A fluffer is a hired person whose job it is to help maintain the male actor's erection when shooting porn. I guess there's a job for everything.

Death by Poison or Burning

(Logic Puzzle)

Problem:
You are captured by some really mean cannibals. They tell you to make one statement. If it is true they will be merciful and kill you by poison darts, but if it is a lie they will force you to endure the painful torture of being burned to death. What statement can you make to confound the cannibals and possibly effect your release?

Hint:
Say something about your death.

Solution:

Say something to the effect of, "I will be burned to death."

If they burn you, your statement was true and they should have poisoned you.

If they poison you, your statement was false and they should have burned you.

(Let's just hope they don't decide to poison you AND then burn you.)

Candy Bar Encounter

(Word Play, author unknown)

One Payday, Baby Ruth earned 100 Grand and wanted a Bit-O-Honey so he met York Peppermint Patty and gave her Hershey's Kisses to lure her down to the Powerhouse at 5th Avenue and Clark where he proceeded to feel her Mounds and that was an Almond Joy which definitely made his Tootsie Roll. He let out a Snicker as he slipped his Butterfinger up her Kit Kat. She screamed, "Oh Henry", and grabbed his mr. Goodbar and Zagnuts. He shot a MilkyWay and Patty exclaimed, "You're better than the 3 Musketeers!"

A Fish Called Wanda & Fierce Creatures

(Movie Recommendations)

A Fish Called Wanda was a very popular comedy from 1988 starring Monty Python's John Cleese, Kevin Kline, and Jamie Lee Curtis. Four strange people rob some diamonds and then try to steal them from each other in this wacky comedy. Needless to say, Jamie Lee Curtis loves to make use of her hot body to charm anyone she wants to.

Then there's Fierce Creatures (1997) with the same stars which is sort of a sequel to A Fish Called Wanda. This is another hilarious romp with a guy trying to raise the value of a zoo by advertising that all the animals are deadly. Trust me here, though this film isn't as popular as others, it is hilarious.

Beatles Medley: Rita and the Walrus

Here's a nice little love story I made up from clips of Beatles' songs.

Lyrics/storyline

She came in through the bathroom window
(Why not use the door?)
I saw her standing there
(Quite a site to behold)
Lovely Rita meter maid
(Rita, she's a meter maid)
Ain't she sweet
(a HOT meter maid)
Good morning X 5
(Very good morning Ms Rita)
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob
(He's the Walrus, ?!*#@%)
I wanna hold your hand
(He wants to hold her hand)
Get back, get back
(Sorry Walrus, she says no)
That'll be the day that I die
(Maybe when Hell freezes)
You say goodbye and I say hello
(Shes a pessimist, he's an optimist)
Got to get you into my life
(He's not giving up on the meter maid)
Can't buy me love
(But I'll try. Diamonds perhaps?)
We can work it out
(Walrus wants to work it out)
All you need is love
(Love is all you need)
She loves you
(Rita fell for the Walrus)
Come together
(Aw-shucks, they're getting married)
Obladi, Oblada, life goes on
(Sure are a cute couple)

Penis and Vagina-- The Pill

V: I just started using Seasonale.
P: The birth control pill?
V: Yup. It's great. Now I'll only have 4 periods per year.
P: I really think condoms are better.
V: Condoms are such a hassle.
P: They also prevent STDs.
V: The pill can cure mild acne sometimes.
P: And it can cause blood clots, stroke and heart attack.
V: Not so good.

Mind if I Fart?

It seems to me that anti-smoking laws just keep getting stricter and stricter. No smoking on airplanes. No smoking in restaurants. Not that it bothers me since I don't happen to smoke. I do think all this smoke-free environment has made me become much more sensitive to cigarette smoke. Now, when I leave a restaurant, there is often someone there smoking. It smells so bad it seems like I might as well be smoking the cigarette myself. I have to resist the temptation to go up to the smoker and make some sarcastic comment like, "Thank you so much for smoking here, I really needed a nicotine fix and I'm all out of cigarettes."


Then I think of the following bit from Steve Martin and get a little chuckle.


If I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and somebody says, 'Hey, mind if I smoke?', I always ask, "No, mind if I fart? It's one of my habits. Yeah, they got a special section for me on airplanes now. I quit once for a year, you know. But I gained a lot of weight. It's hard to quit, you know? After sex, I really have an urge to light one up!"

Angry Aliens

(Joke)

Two aliens land in Iowa and the first "life form" they meet is a gas pump. Alien Aahzon introduces himself to the pump and asks where he might find Earth's leader. Getting no reply, Alien Oohzon warns the unresponsive pump that Aahzon has a very short fuse so he better start talking sooner rather than later.

The gas pump stands like a statue. Sure enough, Aahzon draws his ray gun and fires at the pump just as Oohzon screams belatedly to wait. The gas pump explodes sending the aliens flying 500 feet.

When the aliens regain consciousness, Aahzon asks his companion how he knew not to shoot the Earthling. Oohzon replies that you don't fuck with any guy who can wrap his dick around himself twice and then stick it in his ear.

There's Something About Mary

(Movie Recommendation)

There's Something About Mary (1998) is a little more recent than most of my recommendations, but this movie is a must see for comedy fans.

Yeah, you've got Cameron Diaz (hot) along with Matt Dillon and Ben Stiller (some guys). I almost died laughing when a guy zips his nuts and then again when he tries to revive a dog by shocking it with electrical cords. Sit back, enjoy this romantic comedy and be prepared to have sore ribs from laughing so hard.

World Sexcapades

(Word Play)

Last trip I met this hot foreign woman. It started out innocently enough with a little Tongue (Scotland) and a French Lick (IN) . We sat by the water and I got a River Suck (Ireland). A simple Knob Lick (MO,KY) progressed into Maidenhead (England). Then she pushed a Dildo (Newfoundland) into her Muff (Ireland). Seeing her Twatt (Orkney Is.) excited me so much I decided I needed to Bangor (ME). I knew she wanted to get Laid (Scotland) because she told me to Bangkok (Thailand). Fucking (Austria) this exotic lady was the best Intercourse (PA) I'd had in a long time. It didn't take long for me to Climax (MI) and squirt my Seman (AL) all over since I had no Condom (France).

Next trip I'm going to Lake Titicaca (Peru). Westward Ho! (England)

Adult Musings Site Renovation

Originally, Adult Musings had no images just in case any readers might find them offensive or inappropriate for the environment where they read the blog. Adult Musings X contained pictures in every post.

Effective immediately, both blogs will be combined as Adult Musings including pictures. Adult Musings X will no longer be updated.

<Friendly Ego Start>
Adult Musings apologizes for any inconvenience this format change may cause its readers. Maintaining two versions of the blog has become a burden that simply could not be continued for what is expected to be a very long publication lifetime. We hope our readers will continue to enjoy Adult Musings in its new, improved format.

Best wishes acclimating yourself to the new format, Peace out.
<Friendly Ego End>

<Evil Ego Start>
Look, if you preferred the version of Adult Musings without pictures well too fucking bad for you. It's hard enough creating a quality, funny, adult entertainment blog. Making a second version was one major pain in the ass. And what for? Just because someone might get offended by some inappropriate, nude pictures?? Well, screw them. Face it, there's going to be plenty of inappropriate, offensive humor in just about every article so if you've got any problems with that then screw you too. We're going to write this blog any way we damn well please and it's going to be fucking funny.

If you don't like the change, Fuck you!!
<Evil Ego End>

Pain and Pleasure

(Erotic Story)

I sat alone at a small table hidden in the corner of a local tavern on another weekday night. A businessman washing away sad memories of what might have been. A failed career and a failed marriage. A pathetic specimen of an evolved animal, I cowered in my hole hoping my presence would escape humanity. Squinting through the tiny crack I allowed between my eyelids, I was mesmerized by a vision. A vixen covered in shiny black leather stood at the end of the bar gently stirring her drink with a swizzle stick. I refocused my attention on my vodka convinced that no goddess would visit this dive. Maybe there is a god because when I next looked up, sitting at my table directly across from me was this angelic dominatrix. I slurped down the remainder of my drink before looking up again.

My lovely dom grabbed me by my hand and led me into the ladies’ restroom. She pushed me against the the wall and pressed her body against mine. I stared down at the most beautiful breasts straining against the black patent leather pushing out two bulging mounds of cleavage. Then I realized her hand was wrapped tightly around the base of my cock which was fully engorged and angled with a steep upward erection. I stood frozen against the hard wall while her unrelenting grip induced my penis to swell ever more until I knew it would burst. No sooner had I anticipated the impending eruption then the grip was completely released. It was only a moment before those agile fingers wrapped around the top of my scrotal sack and that strong hand began squeezing my balls in its vice-like grip. The intense pain of my balls being crushed ever tighter rose up into my gut preventing me from breathing. No sooner was I sure I’d pass out from the unbearable pain then the powerful grip once again released my manhood. My penis had not been stroked or licked yet it throbbed with a more powerful erection then ever before.

My relaxation was short-lived as I next felt the impact of that clenched hand strike my balls with full force from underneath. The brutal impact caused my gut to feel like a bomb exploded internally destroying every organ in my chest. Then, to my utter amazement and disbelief, I looked down only to see my swollen cock launch a huge load of semen in an arc across the bathroom. With each painful pound my heart inflicted on my interior, my penis squirted out another stream of juice. My eyelids fell shut as I felt the agonizing pulsing in my abdomen along with the euphoric satisfaction of my still throbbing penis oozing out gobs of its seed. I forced my eyelids open once more only to see that my angelic dom had vanished. My body was completely spent and my fatigued frame collapsed on the wet tile floor. I passed out cold and wouldn’t awaken until the cleaning woman found me at closing time. Never before had I experienced the overwhelming sensations of pain combined with pleasure.

Penis & Vagina: Halloween Costume

P: Are you dressing up for Halloween?
V: Of course. Halloween is the most fun holiday of all!
P: I hate to ask what you're dressing up as.
V: Eve.
P: That sounds pretty sexy.
V: Here, I'll show you.
P: V, we have a minor problem here.
V: You don't like how it looks?
P: Adam and Eve wore FIG leaves.
V: Isn't that what I have on?
P: Not exactly. Those are MARIJUANA leaves!