Sexy Dinner

(Joke)

An Asian businessman is returning home from work one evening and he can not get his mind off sex for some reason. Normally the couple only engages in sex once a month, but tonight will have to be an exception. This guy is feeling hornier than ever before. He needs to get his wife into bed ASAP!

When the businessman arrives home, his wife asks, "What would you like dear?" The husband, unable to control himself any longer says, "Tonight we try something different. We do Number 69!" The wife hesitates for a moment then replies, "Let's see now, number 69.. You want Chicken and Snow Peas tonight?"

Funny Sexy Girls

Okay, someone was kind enough to recommend yet another blog with pictures of sexy ladies including humorous captions. The captions might not all be great, but pictures of attractive ladies-- that never gets old! The blog is named Sexilaffs. Take a peek.

Beverly Hills Cop

(Movie Recommendation)

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) is another comedy classic starring Eddie Murphy. While I'll be the first to admit that Eddie Murphy has performed in his share of clunkers, he has also enjoyed his share of successes. Beverly Hills Cops is one of those successes where everything just worked out right. I think Eddie Murphy was allowed to do a lot of ad-libbing. It is hilarious seeing him talk his way into and out of one situation after another. Go Eddie, go Eddie!!

Evita Musical

(Music)

Evita might be my favorite musical. The storyline is based on the life of Eva Duarte who was born into the lower class society in Argentina. She managed to sleep her way to the top eventually marrying Peron who became Argentina's ruler. Eva's beauty and her program of giving out random donations to the poor made her extremely popular. The country's economy failed as did Eva's health. Evita Peron died in 1952 at the young age of 33 from cancer. She was revered as a savior by many, but scorned by others. Enough about the life and times of Evita Peron. The thing that stands out about this musical is of course-- the music. The music is sensational. Yeah, a movie has been made starring Madonna and I imagine it's plenty good, but why fool around with imitations?

Listen to Evita Broadway Musical.

Check out more great music at ClassicsGold.

School Bus Math

(Logic/Math Problem)

First, I will tell you a short story. You may read it as many times as you like and for as long as you like. Next you will be asked a question which you must answer without going back to the story. Get it? Got it? Good!!


Story: You're driving a yellow school bus. When you start out, the bus is empty, but at the first stop you pick up 5 kids. At the next stop you pick up 3 more children, but one child feels sick and leaves the bus. On the third and final bus stop, 4 kids get on the bus, but 2 children leave. The remaining children are dropped off at school.



Question: Try to answer this question without rereading the story. What is the bus driver's first name?

Answer: So, did you figure out the trick answer yet? The answer is whatever your first name is. The story said you are driving the bus.

Friendly "Warning"

(Advertising Silliness)

I just have to laugh every time I see this erection pill commercial. I don't really remember how it starts. No doubt it says how this pill will make you more of a man and that you'll be ready to love your lady whenever the moment arises. The part that gets me is at the end when they are so kind as to "warn" you that if you happen to get an erection lasting 8 hours or more then "please consult your physician." Right, and please visit the emergency room immediately if our penis pump makes your dong grow over a foot. Oh, and seek medical attention if our hair restoration shampoo causes you to look like a Chia Pet.

Love The Way You Lie

(Thoughtful Messages by Gregg Hoops on Face Book and MySpace)

My mind becomes constructively destructive. . I’m not ok and its killing me

As you lay beside me sleeping, my eyes are wide open and I stare at the ceiling. I have drifted to a place I never wanted to return to and once again I am all alone.

My mind is spinning around in a sequence of figure eights. My dizziness is keeping me from drifting off to the nightmare undoubtedly is building in my subconscious. I am afraid to speak, I’m afraid to feel, I am afraid to show my fear and I fear I have lost.

It feels as if everything I have tried so hard to work toward is crumbling before me once again.

Is this my destiny?

I can’t explain to you what this feeling is like. It is almost like being intoxicated with love and when I wake up i will have to face the sobering reality that it may be over.

I turn and look at you and you’re drifted off into your own dream land. Wishing for myself so helplessly that I could join you and we could both run away from it all and never look back.

Love burns, the flame is often so hot the it scalds all other feelings and one often forgets about your surroundings and the reality of how evil a place we dwell in. nothing on this earth is meant to last forever. Is there anything here for me but greed, pain, and frustration? The hatred builds within me and grows as if it is taking my entire body over.

You say that hatred is ungodly yet, when you look in the mirror the image you see is darkened and blurry.  Again you’re helpless to your surroundings and the fate that awaits you hourly.

My Life is a prison.  Broken stitches in the patterns of a blanket where my destination humbles me in reality, the fabric a tainted color of a rainbow and it’s made of solid wool. The scares I bare from wearing it so long have imprisoned me within its warmth and shelter, dropping it from my shoulders would expose my nakedness to all, and in your eyes I then would be at judgment with all who confronts me.

The blood that flows through my veins becomes thin, dependent upon life’s diversities and expectations.

How strong can one man become before he falls like a giant before the grace of God and admits his is defeated?

Hidden tears and emotions, one never could express even if given half the chance, so you find yourself strolling through each day with the pacification knowing in your heart your doing the right thing even if mere survival is all that keeps you motivated.

I look toward the clock and the hours have drifted as if I had disappeared for some time yet here I was lying beside you aware of my surroundings.

What will tomorrow bring? How will I face you? How will I face myself?

Will everything be the same, or will I somehow be so different?

For now I will close my eyes and face the demons that await me in my dreams, praying that I awake to face the new day that awaits me and the challenges of yet another tomorrow.

xxx