The Top Dozen “So I Think’s”

(by Pete Lopez. Read his blog Road to Absolute Zero.)

Alright, well I am probably not fooling anyone anymore as this is just another lame list of unrelated comments tied together because they all start with “so”. I am not going to defend my actions but I will not put them to a halt either. I did have extreme desire to post a romantic tale that concluded with a tearjerker decision where the lead male had to sacrifice the love of his life for the betterment of humanity. To my usual regret, I created emotionless cardboard characters with no chemistry between them so I just had them eaten by sharks. 

After abruptly dragging the main couple off to sea for no clear or explained reason midway through the love story, I still had another half to write. That part consisted of me apologizing and offering free gifts and coupons for tolerating this. Since I cannot afford providing gift certificates, Tupperware sets or ski trips as prizes for suffering though my literary work, I scrapped that story and I now proudly-er then that present, the Top Dozen “So I Think’s”



I- so I think, that I am unreliably reliable, I mean I usually show up for all my appointments, just nobody knows when

II- so I think, that I got scammed because I bought a bag of reduced fat chips and think they tasted identical to the regular fat ones, there was just a lesser amount in the bag

III- so I think, that it's great when using “just hope it goes away” approach to problem solving or rashes and it's successful

IV- so I think, that one of my strengths is when people say "Never mind Pete, just forget I asked" or "Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem" I am great at never minding and not worrying

V- so I think, that I would be a fantastic elevator standup comic in a medium rise building, I have about 7 floors of material before I repeat or get annoying 

VI- so I think, that the key to becoming a millionaire is to begin acting like a millionaire and then work your way backwards to find out how you got there

VII- so I like to think, that I am invisible to people who are wearing sunglasses. There is no basis to this theory but it amuses me

VIII- so I think, that I am going to skip his first 7 years since he’ll never remember and then on that 8th Christmas with the money saved, get my nephew a dirt bike, then I'll best uncle ever

IX- so I think, that I subconsciously cross the street safer as the week continues, I’ll be damned if I make all the way to Friday and don't get to enjoy the weekend

X- so I think, that the "I'll show them by killing myself" theory will work great and make the strongest of people feel guilty, but you only get to do it once, what if someone else pisses you off?

XI- so I think, that everyone has one “personal superpower” and mine is the remarkable ability to fall asleep whenever I want. I just need to figure out how that can aid mankind

XII- so I think, that anyone saying the phrase "I am not stupid" is stupid, because non-stupid people normally don't have to defend themselves