(by Pete Lopez. Read his blog Road to Absolute Zero.)
After five spaces for indentation (which google deleted so now it's just a metaphor), I nervously begin the initial sentence for my first ever blog. For reference purposes, I am using an outdated laptop and since I posses neither a globe nor calendar, my estimations are that I am geographically located in the heart of the Northern Hemisphere and it’s a generic week day evening sometime in the middle of August 2007.
As of this second, I contemplated going to bed, but the damage has already been done. The vast emptiness of a blank, dusty, white screen has mocked me long enough about being too cowardly to go through with this. I have officially surrendered to the blogger calling despite my enormous fear of butchering every grammar rule in the English language and offending syntax worshipers across the land. Instead I have now concluded that the sooner I go to bed, the sooner the pain of arising the following morning for work will arrive. The better idea is to resist the urge to slumber with the burden of an unproductive night on my hands and stretch this evening out for a bit longer.
Wait. I take that back, and apologize for being a smidgen of a liar. I did complete some light sweeping of my wooden bedroom floor prior to this so the night is not an entire waste. I can be worry-free about crud collecting on the bottom of my glorious feet while traveling to the bathroom tomorrow morning, but that is no longer sufficient. I have decided to be extremely greedy and add originating a successful blog to my output tonight. Is there any time better then the present? As of right now I have absolutely no intention of informing anyone that this blog exists, so what do I have to lose? I am unaware if the person was wise or when it happened, but I am sure someone has said to me, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today.”
Besides, if I go to bed at midnight as opposed to 1 a.m. or 2 a.m., will it really make that much of a difference? I am going to be tired tomorrow regardless, and it’s not like there are separate stages of tiredness. It’s either being tired or not. I have yet to witness some sort of ranking system where I can say, “God, I am slowly approaching Stage VI tiredness.” Also, if I ventured to work appearing bright-eyed, it would feel awkward and interrupt my normal flow. It may even result in a domino effect and disrupt coworker’s usual routine if they saw my shining face and heard me communicate using coherent words instead of a series of grumbles with my face pointing at the floor.
So, I now begin as a single man (meaning – no help from others, as opposed to someone not in a relationship), with a dream that has yet to die, a trusted sidekick plant perched on my window ledge beside me that I wish I remembered to water more often, and a laptop that has emphysema, since opening multiple windows causes sounds congruent to a smoker attempting to run a few blocks. I cross my fingers – but quickly uncross as it became quite uncomfortable to type properly and effectively. Now with mental fingers crossed, I hope that this is an introduction that is read worldwide and believed to be an important link in the evolutionary chain of literary genius.... Okay, fine, I’ll just be content if people read and say, “Well, it was certainly better than a punch in the gut or a martini glass splashed in the eyes.”
With that being said – and the imagination that this forward is about three inspiring pages longer with fantastic beginning insight that gets you pumped up like a great speech from the high school football coach before the huge homecoming game followed by sexy cheerleaders chanting your name as you step through the painted white lines – with great pleasure from a chair atop a shinning floor, I proudly present….Wait, wait, stop the momentum. I am panicking about being that arrogant since I haven’t submitted any entries and my floor, albeit clean, is still rather dull. Let me start over….
With the dashing back and forth, abrupt hesitance of a squirrel crossing a busy intersection, I now from a variation between quite proudly and embarrassed beyond belief – announce from a tidy floor, the launching of the new blog “The Road to Absolute Zero”
As of this second, I contemplated going to bed, but the damage has already been done. The vast emptiness of a blank, dusty, white screen has mocked me long enough about being too cowardly to go through with this. I have officially surrendered to the blogger calling despite my enormous fear of butchering every grammar rule in the English language and offending syntax worshipers across the land. Instead I have now concluded that the sooner I go to bed, the sooner the pain of arising the following morning for work will arrive. The better idea is to resist the urge to slumber with the burden of an unproductive night on my hands and stretch this evening out for a bit longer.
Wait. I take that back, and apologize for being a smidgen of a liar. I did complete some light sweeping of my wooden bedroom floor prior to this so the night is not an entire waste. I can be worry-free about crud collecting on the bottom of my glorious feet while traveling to the bathroom tomorrow morning, but that is no longer sufficient. I have decided to be extremely greedy and add originating a successful blog to my output tonight. Is there any time better then the present? As of right now I have absolutely no intention of informing anyone that this blog exists, so what do I have to lose? I am unaware if the person was wise or when it happened, but I am sure someone has said to me, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today.”
Besides, if I go to bed at midnight as opposed to 1 a.m. or 2 a.m., will it really make that much of a difference? I am going to be tired tomorrow regardless, and it’s not like there are separate stages of tiredness. It’s either being tired or not. I have yet to witness some sort of ranking system where I can say, “God, I am slowly approaching Stage VI tiredness.” Also, if I ventured to work appearing bright-eyed, it would feel awkward and interrupt my normal flow. It may even result in a domino effect and disrupt coworker’s usual routine if they saw my shining face and heard me communicate using coherent words instead of a series of grumbles with my face pointing at the floor.
So, I now begin as a single man (meaning – no help from others, as opposed to someone not in a relationship), with a dream that has yet to die, a trusted sidekick plant perched on my window ledge beside me that I wish I remembered to water more often, and a laptop that has emphysema, since opening multiple windows causes sounds congruent to a smoker attempting to run a few blocks. I cross my fingers – but quickly uncross as it became quite uncomfortable to type properly and effectively. Now with mental fingers crossed, I hope that this is an introduction that is read worldwide and believed to be an important link in the evolutionary chain of literary genius.... Okay, fine, I’ll just be content if people read and say, “Well, it was certainly better than a punch in the gut or a martini glass splashed in the eyes.”
With that being said – and the imagination that this forward is about three inspiring pages longer with fantastic beginning insight that gets you pumped up like a great speech from the high school football coach before the huge homecoming game followed by sexy cheerleaders chanting your name as you step through the painted white lines – with great pleasure from a chair atop a shinning floor, I proudly present….Wait, wait, stop the momentum. I am panicking about being that arrogant since I haven’t submitted any entries and my floor, albeit clean, is still rather dull. Let me start over….
With the dashing back and forth, abrupt hesitance of a squirrel crossing a busy intersection, I now from a variation between quite proudly and embarrassed beyond belief – announce from a tidy floor, the launching of the new blog “The Road to Absolute Zero”
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